Shell Shocked

WHAT?!!??! Janette?!! What heck with people who voted her? I thought she would win this season, but pppfffttt.. I think she was the BEST dancer than any girls in this season. Seriously, what are they thinking?! Are they thinking of music itself? Or popular? What the problem with her? That one I will have to say.. BOOO to people who voted for her. I'm on the same boat with Nigel for that one. That show ruined my night! Blah! Wondering who heck people think the best dancer is in this show beside Janette.. WHATEVER!

Can't Wait

Yesterday afternoon at 2pm, I had last minute appointment with Steve. Yes, Steve--my audiologist because the problem is back and much worse than ever. Steve suspected it would do something related to the second surgery. True enough, my left ear decided to pick up more sounds and the sounds became too loud. The high frequency became too high and smash the low frequency again. Everything bothered me so much. It's just the same as before.

I cannot able to stay torture until August 25th. And I do not want to suffer through on my vacation--visiting Omi, my grandma, in Graz, Austria. (As well, my mother's brother, Michi) I'll staying there for two weeks with my parents. My little sister and her husband will tag along with us for a week. It'll be lot of fun. The point I do not want to torture myself with that. Steve was so nice to make his schedule open for me the next day, so I went.

The appointment was fast as usually. He had a student with him. She was interesting woman. When we entered his office, Steve introduced me his student. I sat down and spotted my name on the box (EF) behind Steve. (He have a big shelves on the wall. There are several boxes with name on it. There were three different companies of cochlear implants. There were only two boxes that are from Med-el.) I knew one of them was for me. It's my NEW RED processors! I got Annie's attention and said, "Look! My name is there! Look!" Annie didn't get it at first but got it second time. Steve saw me what I was trying to tell Annie. Steve just smiled and point to it. He confirmed that I was right it's mine. He didn't take it out, but smile. DARN!

Annie was hoping that Steve would said well since you're here, why not we get over with it. Bring my new second processor, does that happened? No. Bummer. I can't wait until August 25 for my second activation. Sighs. Too bad for me. After the appointment, Annie and I left to go home. Annie made comments about blogs she read that some of people had activation a week after the surgery, other two weeks, other three days etc. Why Steve made me to wait for six weeks! We discussed and finally decided that they must have a good reason to wait for six weeks. Dang it.

That's alright, I guess. Things will help me distract and the days will come quickly before I blink. I have one more week of school then Austria for two weeks, then one more week of vacation.. BINGO the day arrives! Time for second activation! Grin. Can I wait and patience? I don't know.

First Idiot Accident

Hello guys! I'm back and much better than last week. I finally got mostly of my energy back--slowly. I was thrilled found out that my new glasses was best choice because it didn't bothered my sensitive area as I had with first surgery. My first surgery, I can't stand wearing my glasses because it hurts so much. Whew, I guess it was a good thing that I broke my glasses awhile ago.

Today I went to see my surgeon and he took the stitches out. Well, the appointment was very fast! We accomplished less than an hour. YAHOO because pay fifty cents less for parking. Anyway, he said it looked GREAT.

Last night I was watching a television show. While I was eating my dinner on the couch and I have a cup with milk in middle of my legs. (My legs holding it while I'm holding the bowl with food in it.) In the middle of my dinner, my rechargeable battery has died and I took it off and put it on knee so I can put my food away and blah blah. Well, a small move caused my processor fell in the cup! Yes, there are still some milk in it. I screamed! Of course, Annie was next to me and she grabbed the processor out of the cup and ran to the sink to try to clean of the processor because uhh I slid the battery pack cover half way off from the rechargeable battery.. Idiot, right?

That leads me to became agitated thinking that if the thing died, then it is not funny because that costs a leg and an arm. I do not know if the insurance will cover my idiot accident. Gosh, good thing I have back up second processor. Whew. I took apart my poor wet processor and put it in the special dryer for cochlear implant for overnight.

After put the wet things in the special dryer, I was too lazy to assemble my second processor (you have to hook up things together because I only took the computer processor part with me every time when I see Steve.. It's worthless to bring a whole thing.) So I announced to myself that I'll go without using cochlear implant for a night.

We finished with our dinner and a television show. I realized it's not the SAME without using my cochlear implant to watch the show. I wanted to watch a television show called Burn Notice. I knew I had to get my body up and assemble my second processor and get one piece from my wet cochlear implant to finalize the assemble. I did it. I enjoyed the second show much more than the first one. I know it's silly but dropping the processor in the cup with milk can give me a heart attack after knowing how much it costs. Darn, I wish I don't know how much it costs so I don't have to go through drama over that thing!

FYI: My processor is still working after overnight being trapped in the special dryer, whew.

My Prayer has answered..

Yesterday I was so tired and took two short naps but I was able to finish my homework. Annie and I bought a meal that looks yummy to us. We decided to have this for our dinner. Our dinner was a bacon wrap with cheese and shrimp. Our dinner was great, we had no problem cleaning up our plates.

It was time for us to go bed because I have to go school next morning. Annie will still have to take me to school because I still have a little dizzy but much better than first few days of surgery. Anyway, I jumped into my bed and Annie turned off the lights. Suddenly the fears crawl all over me. I do not know why but got scared. I feel like my body burning up. I asked Annie to test if I'm having fever. Nope, I didn't have any fever. (I wanted to make sure no fever because of surgery..) My body started to shake like it's making a progress to threw up. In my mind, oh no! I cannot afford to threw up because it can be the problem with my second surgery. The surgeon said I cannot sniff, blow nose, etc etc..

Of course, I fought with myself not to get scared. I prayed and asked Heavenly Father to help my body calm down so I do not have to threw up. I prayed so hard and ended up I had to go pee every 15-30 minutes for several hours including LOTS of burps and farts. Every time I burped, it tasted like a bacon wrapped with cheese and shrimp. My body has gone crazy cold and hot. I struggled but continued praying that I can get through night without threw up. That thing kept me up until about 4:30am. I finally able to snooze away until it's time to get up for school. My stomach was uneasy but grateful that I'm okay. I realized that Heavenly Father truly listened my prayers last night because he did get me through night without threw up. I'm so grateful that He did.

Amazing--I was surprised that I have enough liquid to go pee almost every thirty minutes. Wow, but that means I will need to drink lot of liquid today to catch up what my body has lost.. Oh yikes, I better go and fix my hair before go to school..

Am I sane?

Last night was dramatic for both of us (Annie). Well, we ended up went to ER. No fear, I'm okay. It was one of our fears from the paper that caused us to worry. Let me tell you the story how it happened.

At first I got home from the surgery and had nap then woke up. Eat food. Pee lots. Mom called me to sure I'm okay. I got up and feel pain from my left behind knee. It hurts when I straight my knee. I told Annie about it. She read the paper and saw it said I need to call the doctor if I have any legs pain etc. The doctor was worried for any patient who were under anesthesia longer than usually. It might caused to have a blood clots. Leg pain was one of signs.

Annie called one of ENT and he couldn't make up decision if we should go to ER or not. At first he said it was up to us but after my blah blah about knee pain. He gave up and told us to go to ER but emphasized that we should call him when we get there so we don't have to wait there FOREVER. Oh umm okay.

Annie and I left our apartment at around 8pm. Grins, it's not good starter for me since I got home from surgery! We drove to John Hopkins Hospital and walk FAR to the ER. We finally found ER through maze. Seriously, I couldn't find it without asking for help to find that ER. We saw there are LOTS of umm interesting people who sat there for many hours to get service. Annie overhear one woman said she have been waited for six hours and still not have seen doctor. Gulp, that's why ENT said we should call him right away or we will stuck here for many hours just like that woman stayed there for six hours. Weird. I admitted it's creepy to sit down and be one of them.

We found right place to tell the nurse to call the doctor, but the nurse just blinked and said go sit down--basically ignored us. She thinks we are one of them. Add to this, I have a weird big white cup bandage on my right ear. Duh. AND Annie DID told her that I had a surgery this morning. Is that important enough to go through in her head... But I don't think it didn't hit her through many visitors drama.

After about five minutes, there are no way for us to pull the white flag to wave and get our attention so Annie fed up and called the doctor herself with her dying cell as hoping it won't die on her when she contacts the doctor. Whew, it did got through and paged the ENT to come and get us. We waited another thirty minutes until the nurse decided to notice us and get us in her cubicle room. My friend, Annie, of course blah blah blah why I am here. Well, I did too. At first Nurse didn't get it. Annie had to repeat until the nurse get her bulb working. Finally she tried to call the doctor but at that time ENT arrived and got us.

ENT had to borrow one of their ER room to do test on me. That was very interesting part because ENT asked a woman (a weird doctor) if we can use that room. The woman stared at him and said we cannot do that. It started a little firework as trying to find a room for us. The woman said it's low risk of blood clots while ENT said it could be dangerous. It seems both of them couldn't make a decision. We ended up went a room. Still both were blah blah blah what if what if what if. My head feel like a ping pong ball. Of course, I couldn't move my head fast enough and gave up. My head have been spinning because its too much drama here in the room. ENT touched my behind of knee to see if there is any blood clots. He don't know what to look for, so ask her to see if she could identify the problem. She touched and said it's fluid like blah blah blah. She thought I strained against it during surgery and knee thing popped out. It looked like she is trying to be smarter than he is. At last both of them finally decided to give me a ultrasounds to see if I have a blood. And they talked about risk and benefit. It means if I have a blood clot, they cannot treat it because of my surgery. Both left the room leaving us alone.

Annie and I were not sure what to do but decided to call my dad what he thinks. He told us it's low risk and it's up to me. I feel much better and think dad and the surgeon are right. It's possibly sprain while I was in OR. Annie gave a good point, if we stayed here for ultrasounds and other tests, then we won't get home until maybe 2 or 3 in the morning. We will become one of weird people in the ER. I decided not to be one of them and told the woman forget it.

Funny, when we told the woman and she blinked at us. She acted weird and said we need to sign AMA. Funny that she did not thinks it was a blood clot but then she said it's still possible blah blah. It's low risk but nonzero. UH?! Okay, that's it. She finally printed the AMA and made me sign my name it so I cannot sue if I die. Uh, how can I sue if I died?! Well, she was nice when we left. She said if it's still the problem, I can return to her. And she added before we walked out of the room, she said hope I can hear. Funny, I had my left cochlear implant on. She didn't know that I have second one.

Oh boy, we finally left the ER and went home exhausted.

But am I sane that I decided to go to school the next morning? Yes, I had to get up early and Annie came along with me. Of course, I didn't go to school with my big white cup bandage. I took it off!! Annie careful not wash my surgery area, just my waxy hair. We left and got there a little late because washing my wax hair took forever!

I survived through long class and left home. That morning killed me and left me fell on my bed snooze for about two hours. I think I have killed Annie as well cuz she took two hours nap too. Wow, it's long day for both of us yesterday. Today was much better but still feel sore and blah. I'm looking forward tomorrow for a real shower. Yay! Now am I really sane?

Second Surgery

Before the surgery

You'll need to read some from my first surgery experience to understand what's up with this. (Click on that highlight to access this)

After the surgery, didn't I look like unn high drug?

HAHA! See the wire straight up? The coil is a magnet and it stuck to the lid because it's metal!

My second surgery has ended! I'm home and resting. Wow, the surgery took longer than first surgery last January. My first surgery has took about a little less longer than second because the surgeon had to cut a nerve for my taste. (Annie didn't tell me until I ate something!!) I'll tell you more later on that.

Anyway, I was brought to the recovery room. Well, I had hard time recovering because I felt pain behind my ear and nausea! I was not feeling GREAT. Nurse said I was still on Stage 1, haven't transfer to Stage 2 yet which Annie was not here. I ended up stayed there for about three hours! That was double longer than my first recovery!

It was very different experience for me between first and second surgery. It's so funny because it's only six months apart even same surgeon. (Of course, different nurses, OR, anesthesiologist, etc). Still they are nice and friendly. And my interpreter was MUCH better and I liked her lots. She was so nice and made sure everything okay with me.

Well, I got home and couldn't keep my eyes open so had to take a nap. I had hard time to find comfortable to sleep with a cup on my right ear PLUS I have to be elevated. UGH! At least I got some sleep and woke up feeling much better. So I have been up since from that nap. I put my cochlear implant on. AHH, I was able to hear the movie! Not like first surgery! Whew! Interesting, it didn't affect anything much as Steve was curious about.... OH I ate a few of pretzel with peanut butter, ramen noodles, and ice cream! Well, I want more... I want to eat something.. UMM what's next to eat? That shows I'm okay.

Oh about my taste, I got home I feel something in my mouth--obviously I wanted something to eat or drink. I ended up had a popsicle--a orange. I was so happy because I was able to taste the orange. I told Annie about it. Annie's facial expression changed to a giggle. Something going on here. I asked her why it was funny? Annie asked me funny question, can you taste a whole like right side of tongue, etc. I was puzzled and tried what she told me to do.. I think I can taste all of side. I was curious. Annie told me that the surgeon emphasized not to tell me UNTIL I commented about taste. UH?! Annie explained what the surgeon told her. Basically he had to cut a nerve of taste because it was blocking him from inserting the electrodes. He moved the nerve and sewed it back together. He didn't want me to know about it because I would probably look for it and complained or call him or freak out. He said maybe it wouldn't affect me, so wait and see what I say about it.

Interesting!! That's why my interpreter made that expression when I was drinking ginger ale and cookies, and I talked about I was glad it tasted fine! She was with Annie when the surgeon talked to Annie. Hahaha, everything made sense to me. She was sneaky!!

Alright, I'm done with this. I want to find something feed my stomach!

Oh no..

The problem is BACCCCCCCCK! I had to make another appointment with Steve to fix the problem again. That time I do not know if he is going to do the same thing he did with me last time or try another way to figure why it's causing me problems. Actually I think my ear have pick up more sounds and the sound has increased to that point might caused the problem. I'm not sure because it have been on and off often. I hope it will be solved SOON so I don't have to handle this! :S

Okay, Annie and I arrived at Johns Hopkins Hospital and entered the building. We waited for the elevator. I heard the beep behind me. I was a little relief that I was able to hear it because I was not able to hear it since I got my cochlear implant. (With my old hearing aid, I was able to hear the beep..) Anyway, we walked into the elevator that goes up. I need to go to sixth floor. There were three women with two strollers got on the same elevator with us. One woman get off on floor 2... Waiting... suddenly I heard number 5 before the elevator door opened. I was surprised and looked at Annie--did that elevator said number 5? She reply yes, it did. I never realized the elevator tell you which floor you are on! I was astonished it happened to me. Because it was random and I was not expected to understand around me (I mean people talking). Oh boy! Finally, the sixth floor arrived and we got off. That thing has stick to my mind--unbelievable.

Okay, Steve got us and walked inside of his office. We discussed about my problems and Steve had to adjust some frequency and tested with me if bothers me. And it didn't bothered me. He decided to lower the power but not volume. Then he tested me with Ling sounds. He tested me several times and adjust some of electrodes. It's alike try this..no no try this.. Oh that's worse.. need back to that.. try one more.. Well, try one more.. That's what we did for a few minutes.

Oh yeah when we arrived, Steve asked me if I'm teaching or taking class right now. I told him that I'm taking classes right now and tomorrow will be last day for this set of classes. He was wondering if I teach in summer because his neighbor will take ASL through Towson next summer. That was funny.

Anyway what's the complex is that two things.. He was so curious about the surgery this Monday. I was curious why he was curious about this. He explained that my right residual hearing will be removed. It might affect on my left hearing and my brain might got confused something...... Like my brain might looking for the sounds but couldn't find it. (Annie giggled because what's left in my right hearing..there's not much to lose.) Again, he mentioned that left sounds might lower volume. Basically he is very curious the results.

Another is that yesterday morning I woke up and felt the problem but I was not wearing my cochlear implant. I told Steve about that. He was eager to explain it. What I understand that my brain is learning how to listen. Simple answer. My brain finally realized the sounds that is understandable what hearing aid couldn't do make any sense. When I took my cochlear implant off or didn't put it on. Brain thought something was there and started to look for it, but there wasn't. Steve shows that it's a good sign that my brain is learning how to listen. Oh boy, every time I went to see Steve and come home struggling to put in the words what happened in the office. Every time the appointment gets weirder and complex. I wonder what's next?

Well, it seems my surgery has been confirmed this Monday. I bumped into a financial counselor. That's another topic but it seems the insurance approved for second cochlear implant! Well, we will see until I put my body on the cold metal bed as being naked with tight nylon on my legs.

A butterfly

I know it might be creepy but I thought it was cool when I was able to get close enough to get a picture of a butterfly. Actually a dead butterfly, no I did not kill it. Annie found it dead on the parking lot of the Post Office. I saw it and wanted to play with my camera and trying to get close enough without any blurry. After took several pictures and one is best one so far. It's amazing to see the butterfly's head. Wow, look at that eyes and mouth. Wow. Now the butterfly have buried in somewhere-- I do not want to give you any scar if I told you where I have buried the butterfly.

Anyway, my whole point is that it's so beautiful and brilliant how Heavenly Father has created animals for us on the earth. Psss you should click on that picture to get a good close look at the butterfly's head.

All I can say..

Am I dreaming?

I think I'm dreaming that I have some extra time to type my blog. I had to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming this. OW! I guess I'm not dreaming! Indeed, I'm back in school and the school wanted to drown me! My nose is barely above the water. Enough with imagine being in the water.

I have been in summer school for two weeks. I have one more week to go. Am I insane to take two classes for three weeks?! I went through this last summer and hated it. I felt it was brutal experiences but same time it's good idea to get over with it FAST and SHORT time. I do no know which summer is worst, so no comment on that one yet.

This morning something just hit me--today is seven days away from my surgery. Yes, I'm still counting down for my second surgery. I have no idea what will happen on that day--with my insurance. It's 50% until I'm in the hospital. I have to be there at 5:30am for my surgery at 7:30am. Groans, poor both us (Annie will have to drive me and stay there until I'm out of surgery then bring me back home..) I'm sure both of us will dead by night on that day. Anyway, keep your eyes open. I'll post as soon as I can.