Is the career right for me?

This week I finally started my practicum at a school. I have been waiting for my teacher to get more information about the schedule and who I will work with for my practicum. This teacher is really suck. He never gets it done on time. I requested for practicum hours at end of August and hoping that I would start first or second week of quarter for school. Did I started on time? Nope. I just started last Tuesday and it's almost October. I was supposed to earn 150 hours by November 1st. I guess it's impossible since I only can do on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Lucky I earned 25 hours last spring. But still I need to worry about 125 hours to be completed by on time. Lucky I have a wonderful skill was to complain. I complained that it's not my fault etc. He said I can do my best even after the due. He was forced to be flexible with due etc. Still it's very stressful to make sure I can get it done by on time.

Okay, I'm not going to complain because it's not what I wanted to say in this blog. :D Last Tuesday I was very nervous going to that school. I ended up helping two teachers. Both teachers were very nice and liked them. Both have completed different personalities and how to teach the children. The morning was not that bad even one girl said I don't want you, I want my teacher. Ha! She showed with her big attitude.. Whoa.. Okay.. Too bad, your teacher is busy right now. Silly..

Anyway that afternoon I went to another teacher. There were four students. Teacher had to split in two groups because they were on different level. Teacher started to teach two students about basic circumference. Two students learned five names: Circumference, Radius, Centre, Diameter, and Chord. Teacher gave them the work sheet to identify which name for this picture. She told the students that they cannot able to use their notes for this assignment.

In my mind, how can the students able to identify in short time. They have not practiced enough to sink in their mind. True enough, one student got frustrated and just guessed all of the pictures and raised her hand. Teacher came to check her work but gave her a big disappoint facial expression. She shake her head at each picture when the student did not get it right. The student said I did not understand--REPEAT a several times. Teacher looked at me and said, "She knew this. She can do it." At that moment, I felt awkward and grr same time. Teacher continued said you knew the answer. You can do it. Still the student said I didn't understand. Of course, it made her cry over this assignment. Teacher gave up and left to help other students.

That stab my heart because teacher ignored the student in frustrated level. I learned from my school: if I see a student gets on the frustrated level then it's too hard. I need to find instruction level for the students. So I was curious why the student didn't understand this assignment. She was able to identify awhile ago before she do the work. I decided to take step and help this student.

I bent my knees to equal her eyes. I looked at her paper and explained to her how it works. I asked her what name for this? She said, "I don't know!" with tears. I was thinking how can I help her? Teacher said she can use her notes. I asked her where was your notes? Student took the notes and show it to me. There was a notes that has a picture that has all five names on it.

This notes look like this. Actually it has more words in it, and I didn't add to that. Anyway I made those pictures.. So you can get the idea...

I asked line AB where it fits to this notes? Student guessed wrong. Again I was thinking it's not working for her. What can I do? Suddenly I got an idea how to help her. I was hoping that my idea would help her to understand. I got up and walked to the whiteboard. I draw one picture (diameter on circle) and asked her what is it? She repeated the same phrase. I wrote the name on this picture. I explained why, then I draw another picture with radius. I asked her what name for this? I went through four names with individual pictures.

That's what I draw on the whiteboard. Simple.

She finally got the concept, so I walked back to her worksheet. I showed it to her line AB, which this fits to one of circle on the whiteboard? She looked at the whiteboard and back to worksheet. Her facial expression was unsure and said radius? WOW! She got it right answer! I was cheering and told her that she got it right! Suddenly her facial expression changed into a little smile instead crying. I encouraged to do next problem. She got it right again, well, she got WHOLE problems right. She was thrilled and raised her hand for teacher to check her worksheet.

Her worksheet has about 18 problems and it has different letters and places.

Teacher was surprised how I was able to get her to understand this worksheet. I simple told her that she got confused with this specific notes and too much information on one circle. She needs to see individual picture and it helps. That's why she was so frustrated. I found her problem and able to solved her problem.

I left school to go home and pondered about this situation. Is this career right for me? I know I am in graduate school for Deaf Education, but still have some doubts after learned about Deaf Education. I was unsure about myself to teach the children. This experience helped build my confident to teach the children. I still not 100% sure. I'm still scared about my internship coming up this spring.

Super Hair Day

Do I look pretty in the morning? Sometimes I looked like I just fixed my hair. Sometimes my bed decided to fix my hair. I wondered how many times I have been tossing on the bed during the night, mm.. Did I had a good dream or bad dream. Curious.. Curious..

I didn't look so bad except little punk on my forehead.

WHOA!

That's my self side profile. You see both sides jump out of my face.

On way to Church

When I was on the way to Church, I saw that sign. I thought it was funny to give a name, Boring. And other things on that sign such as Oyster bull? Mason-dixon bingo? Whatever, at that point I had to take the picture of the sign but always forgot to bring my camera. It took me several months to remember to bring my camera with me! This morning I accomplished the goal--finally.

New Addiction

Annie showed me this little book called "Fill-It-Ins". It looked boring, right? Actually Annie offered to do this book. At first look, I said no I do not want to play this because I'm idiot. (Really, I thought it was crosswords.) Annie explained it was not crosswords. Of course, she showed me how to do this activity and we did one together. It wasn't that bad as I thought it would be. A little complex but not bad. That was a few days ago.

Yesterday I was boredom, Annie was trying to finish "Catching Fire", the second book of Hunger Games. What am I doing? NOTHING! I have NO hobby. I know that sounds lame but true. I can't bother Annie because I wanted to read this book soon after she finish the book. My eyes spotted at that little book, "Fill-It-Ins". Heck, I'll do this while watching cheesy movies. At first I was doing good. Decided to do the second one, surprising that my skills got improved. Now you know what happened to me. I'm addicted to that thing now. Yay! I found a new hobby.

I finished several of them. OH NO! It became too easy for me when I did one this morning so I went for hardest one. I stared at it for a few minutes as forcing my brain to think hard and how can I find the right word to put it there to start off. Bingo! I found the right word then finish it in a few minutes without any struggles. Dang it. I think I'll lose my newest hobby soon. That means soon I'll go nuts.

Good Bye, My Love.

Yes, I loved them since I was inside of mommy's stomach. I had Manner a few times before but not Zaunerstollen. Zaunerstollen is the BESTEST in the world. I saved and eat a little as I can. I do not want to vacuum all once. When I take one of Zaunerstollen, I had to enjoy for a few minutes. It was so sad to see that I have two pieces left to finish it up. I ate the last Manner this morning. I admit I was afraid to eat two last pieces of Zaunerstollen and know it will be gone forever until I go back to Austria. We do not get Zaunerstollen very often as others such as Manner, etc. I think I'm going to cry over this thing, DARN!

Literacy Power

Last Sunday Annie and I have prepared our primary lesson for today. (We teach 9-11 kids.) We skimmed the lesson and know which paragraphs who will do. We put it down until yesterday. I wanted to read scripture and asked Annie if she wanted to join with me. We started reading Mosiah, Book of Mormon, chapter 2. We takes a turn to sign five verses to each other. Recently Annie used her voice while I was reading the scripture so I can practice listen and read same time. Today I cannot able to do that since my bilateral mixed up. It was not good time to do this. It was no big deal.

We took a few turns until it was her turn. She read from verse 6 to 10. When she read verse 8, she stopped.

"And it came to pass that he began to speak to his people from the tower; and they could not all hear his words because of the greatness of the multitude; therefore he caused that the words which he spake should be written and sent forth among those that were not under the sound of his voice, that they might also receive his words." Mosiah 2:8

She told me what she realized about this verse. Those people who listened King Benjamin were able to read and write even it was 124 B.C. We both discussed about literacy and why Heavenly Father wanted us to learn write and read. Of course, we know why we need to have literacy in our lives. There are words everywhere. I was thinking about their time and the most important was able to write and read so they can read the Lord's word in the scriptures. This verse was perfect example that they were able to read what King Benjamin have spoken to the audience near the temple. Imagine if those people were not able to read, then they must missed lot of important messages from King Benjamin. It must be very frustrating if couldn't able to hear King Benjamin especially when you came from far places.

It's really interesting because we remembered from our primary lesson about the saints moved to Jackson, Missouri. Most people who lived there were not able to read or write. It made me ponder about it. Truly, the literacy is power. We are able to read the scriptures and others things. And able to write our experiences about scriptures, church, study, journals, etc. It took me to Nephi that he wrote in the book of mormon and explained why he wrote this brass. He told us Heavenly Father has purpose for him and for us. Again, everything makes sense to me. Heavenly Father knew we need literacy to progress our education and use our minds to think, to ponder, to express, to show, to proclaim, and to learn.

I am thankful Heavenly Father gave us a command that we should read and study the scriptures that leads us to learn how to write and read. Without them, how can we do our jobs? Remember the steps? How to fix up things without a direction? The questions will go on. I better stop my hands before it started type into blah. That's my thoughts for now.

WHOA!!!!

Annie dropped me off home. She has to go to the meeting. I decided to play a game on the computer while listen the music. For awhile I noticed I hear louder with my left CI. I pulled left coil off and compare if it's true. True enough it was louder than right CI. It's time for me to press Program 2.

I went to get the remote and pressed the program 2. No beep. I tried it again. Still no beep. (Usually I can hear the beep when I press the program or reset or volume to let me know it's changed.) Umm I decided to compare with both and still the same. I decided to wait for Annie to come home from the meeting.

Annie got home and I told her what happened. We tried again to see why it's not working with remote. I had to get other remote, new one that goes with my right CI. I tried it and the result was still the same! We tried several times press the numbers or etc. Suddenly when I pressed program 3 and 4, I heard the beeps. The beeps were too loud. I pressed reset and pressed program 2.

Uh oh! Everything bothered me! Plastic! Metal! EVERYTHING! Much WORSE than I came home! I had to press program 1! NOTHING! I tried to turn the volume down but it didn't work at all. When Annie move the plastic.. UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!! I ran away from that noisy! Oh GOSH! What happened?! I wondered my brain shocked after I pressed program 3 and 4?

Annie whispered something to herself and I said shhh! She was surprised because it was very quiet and I heard it. It's annoying. I hope I don't have torture that thing! So far I struggled with sounds and still do. I hope tomorrow morning will be calm down and back normal. If not, then I'll have to contact Steve and solve the problem. :S

Officially Bilateral

Annie twisted my arm to take a picture before going to the appointment. I looked at the picture and felt that I'm nerd because of my bangs. Well, last night I got my haircut. I still do not like how it looks with my bangs.

I arrived at John Hopkins Hospital and was early for the appointment. That's fine with me so I can play one game on my DS while waiting. Before I went to the lobby area, I had to sign in to let them know that I'm here. I found out that I will have an interpreter. I did not request for an interpreter. I always liked Annie because she knows the history and what signs to use etc. I guess that's okay and hope that I will have a good interpreter that time.

The interpreter showed up, in my mind--NOOOOOOO! Yup, she was WAY WORSE interpreter than rest I had at hospital! Good thing that Annie was there so she can tell me what's going on after we left my appointment. Oh gosh, true enough that I have learned so much on way home than at my appointment! The interpreter struggled to interpret for me. Annie sometimes had to help her (not lot) when the interpreter was stuck. For example, she told Steve that I like beeping loudness test better than drumming ART test, which is the opposite of what I said! And she added things that Steve did not say, like told me to bring something next time that I do not need to bring.

Other example the interpreter said Steve said I can switch the colors if I want. (Blue to right, red to left). I was thinking why he asked me that. I answered no and if I changed my mind, I'll let him know. Steve looked at me strangely and said I still can change your mind and bring the processors next week. I was confused but told him okay.

I asked Annie when we were on the road to home. I told her and she said that's not what Steve said. FYI: I have two blue processors for the left (one is backup) and two red processors for the right. He said that he can make it one blue and one red for each side, so I can have them match if I want. OH BINGO! I understand WHY he repeated about this. Oh brother!

I do have many examples but it's worthless to complain and the topic is not about the interpreter. It's about ME! :D

OH ONE MORE thing about the interpreter--Steve was explaining to his student (intern) how to do with computer. The interpreter said that I was his first bilateral patient. I was puzzled because I knew it's not true. He have tons of clients and I'm pretty sure he had some experiences with bilateral patients. Of course, I asked Annie and she told me that Steve really said that I was his first bilateral for Med-el. He had experienced with two other companies (Cochlear and AB). Dear.. you see the problem is, right?

This is funny picture if you know why. If you can't find what's funny about this picture, then click on that picture for bigger and look closer.

The coil that attached my right magnet to the computer. Steve tested my nerve responses to each electrode. Again it surprised me that it looks great even I haven't wore hearing aid for many years! It's same response with my left.

Finally after testing my right ear with drumming sounds then put my new right processor to find the comfortable sounds to set for my new mapping. The experience was very interesting. I was nervous about activating my right ear. The main reason is when I wear hearing aid, it sounds very different and it made tickle. I do not liked the feeling of tickle inside of my ear. I was hoping that it will not be a big problem. I know it will not be the problem since it will not go through ear drum area to the cochlea. I was relief when I heard the first sound. Somehow the sounds took me back to first activation, but this one is sightly different. I feel pulsing on my head and little on my chest but same time I can hear some normal sounds. With my first activation, everything pulsing my body--no familiar sounds. It's interesting to have a little of both. I'm happy that its much better than first activation. So I do not have to torture myself for several weeks with that pulsing and pounding inside of me.

Steve gave me four programs on my remote. That time it will be different reason for doing this. I have to make sure my right is even with left. When I feel right is quieter than left, then I go for program 2. However if it is the same I leave it alone (don't touch the remote or change the program.)

I used the paper to tell Steve when it was soft, comfortable, etc.

Well, you can see my sign--"better" (When Steve asked me to put my left CI on. It became louder when both are on. Weird but I feel more balance than just having one CI. Both spread evenly in my head. Make sense?)

I fixed left CI with wire (changed the color wire) and took right CI off for some reason. Now I was trying to put both on same time. You can see my facial expression when I tried to put on especially right CI. I had no problem putting left CI on with lot of practice.

Fa-lala! See my beautiful colorful CIs! Do I look weird?

After took this picture, it was very weird to see myself having two CIs on. Too weird to think about that.

Can you see my CIs? No? Good.

Now I'm bilateral girl.