Little Vacation

Eh, I realized I haven't written for a quite long time! Okay, I'm back, I think. Last week, I had an opportunity to have a little vacation with my friend, Annie. We decided to go beach for our little vacation before my job steal my life for another year.

We found a cheap house to rent for a week. It was a small house with some mold on ceilings, dust on ceiling fans, crappy couch, etc.. That's why it was cheap house and affordable for us to stay for a week. It was worth of it.

During the week, I saw lot of Coquina clams which was common on the beach. I saw some small fish, dolphins, Ghost crabs, few different kind of birds, and even some small dead jellyfish without legs! I was fascinated one specific animal. This animal made me smile every time the bird ran toward the shore to get food but ran away from the waves when it hits. Gee, that bird really moved so FAST! The birds looked so small and cute, so I asked Annie if she knew what it called but got no luck from her.

I only saw the bird three or four times during the week. Last day of beach, Annie wanted to stop by bookstore to find some historical books about the shores, people, etc. I was surfing around while waiting for Annie to find a book. I saw a book with many different animals on North Carolina beach. I decided to see if I can find that bird what I saw on the beach.

Hooray! I found it! Now I learned the bird called Sanderling. I also found a not bad video on YouTube you can watch and get the idea why I was fascinated. The beach wasn't the same one we were on, but the bird was the same what I saw.

Loved the beach tent! Worth of money. 

Look what I found something! It was a dead jellyfish! Serious, a dead jellyfish without legs.. Maybe fish or dolphin were trying to eat jellyfish--but loved the legs the best..

Let's get closer to the cool dead jellyfish body... Amazing it can see through to my fingers. 

Walked on the beach while beautiful sunset.

Argghh! Ghost crab... Often see this everywhere. 

Anyway, my point is.... I loved my little vacation, I really need that. I wish I could stay there longer before go back to work. Bummer, fall semester will start this week. Another year with stress, tired, etc. If I did last year, I guess I can do it again this year.. 

Dizzy

My doctor appointment was from last week Monday. I made an appointment with doctor because I had dizzy and vertigo problem since August. 

Last August I thought it was from my new glasses that caused me to have dizzy. Dizzy, let me explain how I feel. When the dizzy hits, I feel like I'm having flu-like. Like you're on high something when you took something strong medicine. Or flu-like your skin became sensitive. It's sort like that, but not skin sensitive. That kind of dizzy I'm having since August. It's very brief and it only last less a minute. Vertigo, it happened once in a while since August. Again, it didn't continue longer than one minute. 

At first I thought it was from new glasses, I kept my old glasses so I sometimes switch old and new glasses whatever I'm in mood to wear it. But I realized it wasn't from new glasses because the dizzy continued to September then November. That's when I started to concern what's wrong with me. 

Dizzy started happing so often in January. I cannot figure what's wrong or what did I do that caused to have dizzy. I talked with my listening therapist about my condition and she suggested me to make an appointment with this specific doctor who focus on dizzy and vertigo. After I left therapy, I made an appointment with doctor. 

I had to wait until last Monday. 

I went and sat front of the doctor. He looked so nice guy. He asked how can he help.. I started blah blah blah about dizzy blah blah blah about vertigo. He asked me few questions--first thing he said...he thinks I have migraine. 

In my mind, WHAT?! Migraine?! Dizzy? Vertigo? Dizzy and vertigo related to Migraine?! 

Doctor explained how it works. I was surprised. Again, he explained the different between sinus pressure and sinus infection. (When I have dizzy, I always feel sinus pressure on my forehead. Sometimes it lasted a few minutes or an hour so far..) If the forehead pressure lasted few days, then it's sinus infection. But if it lasted few minutes to several hours, then it's migraine. 

Umm, mine always lasted less than an hour. Interesting... I was confused how it works and he explained how it works inside of my head. I couldn't copy what he told me. 

Doctor was going to ask me if I have family history but I beat him. My mom's side. Mom, Cindy, and Tim often have migraines. But not dizzy! It seems whole of my family experienced migraines. Therefore family history is part of reasons--but dizzy? 

So he wanted to test me several things to see if I have vertigo or dizzy. It was fun experiments because he asked me to walk, step over something, walk fast then slow, stand with arm crossed with eyes closed, etc. He found out that my right was little weaker than left. I did have some little balance problem. That, again, surprised me. 

I knew I had little balance problem but never knew my right side weaker that caused balance problem. That might related to vertigo. Am I making sense? I don't think so. But the point is we all think I might have two different problems. 

Oh yeah, I forgot to add to this. January was worse month for me. But about three weeks before the appointment, my dizzy started to get better and less dizzy. Only time it often hits when I was driving home from work, night time, and very stressful. 

So the doctor gave me two exercise for my balance. And he suggested me to write down when I have dizzy, where it happened, etc. So I have some homework to do and return to see the doctor in three weeks. 

I left and things stick in my head with wondering. He gave me the article on migraine. My friend read the article for me and it was amazing because there were many things that my head nods or said yeah, I had that problem in past. 

So it's not 100% confirmed that I do have migraine but it's a start.

Therapy Sessions

Gosh, tsk at me. I typed but didn't publish it. Now...it's published.. 

Last Friday at 11:00 am I went to listening therapy for my appointment. Going listening therapy was one of my routines on Fridays. All I have to is sit and listen a woman’s voice behind a black circle, it called acoustic hoop. 

The acoustic hoop blocked me to see Kristin’s, my listening therapist, lips. All I can do was to listen her voice through the acoustic hoop. It’s why it called listening therapy! I have been attending listening therapy since May or June. I couldn’t remember when but through the summer until now. At the beginning of the sessions were much easy for me. Kristin was surprised how much I have accomplished so quickly. 

For example she does not know where I stand with my previous hearing aids. How much I can understand the words, identify letters, etc. All I know that I cannot able to understand the words with my hearing aids except noise I know. Like I can identify dad’s whistles very easy because I dislike the sounds. Or I can identify the house doorbell and it was too obviously. There were many things I can identify with my hearing aids. Such as I can tell when the music is on during the show or movie, dog barking, people’s voices, big noise such as vacuum, door slam, etc. But I cannot understand the word means when I hear the sounds with my hearing aids. 

With my cochlear implants was another planet for me. There were so MANY different sounds I couldn’t hear it before with my hearing aids. For example I can hear the cars passing while I’m inside of the house. (Not always..) I can hear the door bell without using light flash (special technology for deaf people), somebody takes a shower, oh yeah--fire alarm! That was so LOUD and HIGH PITCH! No wonder I couldn’t hear it with my hearing aids. High frequency was out of question for me if I use hearing aids. Now you see why I was saying cochlear implant was another planet. 

Now I wanted to improve my listening skills is to understand the words. People warned me that it might takes a very LONG TIME to accomplish this goal is to understand the spoken language. Or I will probably NEVER able to get it because I born deaf and had no experiences with hearing aids. But it did scared me because I did not want to be disappoint later, but I had to try. If I didn’t, I would never knew if I can accomplish this goal or not. 

Okay, back to my listening therapy... Remember Kristin was surprised I was progressing so fast. At first she speak a word such as baseball and asked me how many syllables in it, but it was too easy for me. The next she speak ... AGAIN.. Too easy.. But only one problem is with CLOSED set and OPEN set. 

OPEN set = a word can be anything. It’s a random word. No context. 

CLOSED set = I see words on the listing, narrow down to this list instead OPEN set. 

Therapist decided to find where she can challenge me, so she keep trying to find different ways until I hit bottom. A few weeks ago, I hit the bottom. I’ll tell you what did I hit the bottom. 

Kristin started to speak a word. The word has three letters in it.  First letter is consonant, second letter is vowel and last consonant. I have to listen what the word was. I would draw three lines and try to focus what the letter would be.  And it’s OPEN set. 

I heard there were plosive sounds at the beginning and end of the letters. Vowels were harder than consonant. Anyway, I tried to listen and figure it out. I finally got one letter at a time. I would write it down. Now I have accomplished a word after I filled the blank line in, like this.. 

Oh, it’s CAT! Kristin had about fifteen words on her listing. I will give you an example what the list looked like and I couldn’t remember them all. Even I heard or seen them for four weeks. 

Book

Man

Kiss

Cat

Bed

Cup

Five

Rake

Van

Hat

Pig

Jam

Gum

You must think it’s easy words but those were seriously horrible challenge for me. I think this lesson was my hardest since I went to my listening therapy. 

Now I’m going to give you a lesson so you can understand why it was SO HARD for me to figure it out the sounds. 

I’m having hard time to tell the different between /b/ and /p/ or /d/ or /t/ even /g/ and /k/. I’m working on it. I can tell the different if Kristin compare them but when she said word I forgot the sound difference between. Sometimes I got it, but other time I don’t. 

Resonant is hard to tell the different /l/ or /y/. Okay, you get the picture, right? 

Back to the word listing-- 

“man” = I can tell it’s resonant and umm that sounds like nasal but which one /m/ or /n/? Okay, it’s /m/ at the beginning.. Oh yeah, it’s man. But it wasn’t first time Kristin spoke the word. She had to repeat to say the word two or four times until I got it. Sometimes I got it first time. 

“van” = Uh oh.. That sounds same “man”, she just said that! I got confused. Trying to figured it out. /m/? But it almost sound high frequency. It might be /s/, but it was too quiet or different kind of sounds for /s/.. Was it voiced? Or Voiceless? Kristin had to repeat the word.. She sometimes said listen... Listen at the beginning letter, what it was? Umm, it sounds like /s/ but it wasn’t. OH! Voiced! Look at the paper with chart, ah! /v/! Okay, again.. /v/...../v//n/  van? But I didn’t get it without Kristin’s guide. 

Man and van are similar sounds to me, only the different was /m/ and /v/.. 

Again, cup, pig, and cat. Book, bed. Jam, gum. It’s HARD to break it down to individual sounds or identify similar sounds. 

When I hear the new word, it takes me awhile to figure out three letters together to a word. 

First week: Ten new words

Second week: Again ten words (same listing from first week)

Third week: Again (I’m getting a little better...get it a little faster than first week)

Fourth week: Again, I go it faster but had to repeat the word. And add two or three new words. 

Fifth week: Again, and repeat the new words from fourth week. 

That’s how we did.. That’s not all what I did for my listening therapy. After words, Kristin will give me a paper to write it on. She will said a sentence. She would said it’s a statement sentence or question sentence. When she start to say a sentence, I have to listen how many words in the sentence. Most of time it’s very easy for me to know how many words in it. Keep in your mind, she does not speak normal as you would. She would speak slow and clear. So I counted how many then draw lines on the paper. 

Again listened the sentence and try to listen the sounds. Sometimes I got “on” or “a” something like that, again sometimes not. Kristin would use two words from the listing in the sentence. Last Friday she said, “The pig sat on the hat.” Pig and hat were on my word listing. Another sentence, “The man drove the van.” Man and van were on my listing. 

The sentences were mixed with OPEN set (any words) and CLOSED set with listing I have been practicing with. Because this listing was so difficult and she knew I felt stuck with this listing. CLOSED set sometimes help but it didn’t make faster to identify. I often didn’t need the list because I was trying to LISTEN and THINK what it make sounds--narrow it down then look at the paper what I was missing.. I hope it makes sense. 

So those two activities we often use for our activities for an hour. 

Some Fridays would be fun and some Fridays would be very frustrating. That’s how I spent my time in my listening therapy on Fridays. This month is my hardest lesson since I started my listening therapy. I admit it can be discouraging when I struggle to tell the different between letters. I feel like I’m progressing so SLOWLY while Kristin and Annie said I have improved so much since I started listening therapy. Who would I believe--them or me? I know your answer would be.. 

I looked back before getting my cochlear implants. I had to remind myself that i shouldn't put my hope high. I should put a expection that I can learn new things what hearing aids can't. 

 realized I have improved so much. With hearing aids, if I did what Kristin did with me. It’s impossible because I cannot hear /s/, /f/, /v/, /th/, or plosive or resonant. I can only hear the sounds. I mean I cannot able to hear high frequency. It’s a big difference. 

I guess I should believe them. 

Merry Christmas!

WELL, WELL! I HAVE DECIDED TO SIGN A SONG--A FEW SONGS JUST FOR YOU!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAYS THIS YEAR. I'M GRATEFUL THAT OUR SAVIOR BORN HERE ON THE EARTH AND SHOW US HOW TO RETURN HOME AGAIN SOMEDAY. WE ARE HERE TO CELEBRATE THAT JESUS GOT HIS BODY BUT ALSO CELEBRATE WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR US. HE LOVES US. WE SHOULD RETURN OUR LOVE FOR HIM. 

THIS SONG BELOW I'LL HAVE TO SIGN A SONG AT CHURCH ON CHRISTMAS DAY!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

I LOVE YOU! 

I'M GRATEFUL TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE!

Cherish Christmas

Last Sunday RS president gave a talk. Her talk made me think about Christmas. Actually it wasn't HER talk, she got the talk from her mother. Well, her mother was a student at BYU and heard the talk from Boyd K. Packer at BYU devotional. She loved the talk and had to get a copy of the talk. RS president wanted to find his talk but couldn't find anywhere! She was lucky to get the copy from her mother. So RS president wanted to share with us by reading some of his talk. I thought I wanted to share with you as well. 

Before you guys listen the talk, I wanted to share with my thoughts first. Last few years has changed so much since everyone got married and have kids. I was envy of my siblings that they have their buddies and kids to spend the special holidays. I felt it wasn't the same as  I used to have with my family. I admit I sometimes wanted to avoid to go home and to avoid the feeling of being lonely or feel the envy of my siblings. 

This year I have noticed my Christmas spirit has changed slowly. Less excitement. Less wow. Of course, I'm not going to be Scrooge! I still LOVE giving presents to my family and friends. I tried to keep the Christmas tradition and wanted to share with my roommates. They didn't share the tradition or excited to do the tradition. They were sweet to do it for me last year and two. I realized it was not their tradition. I feel like they were suffering. Haha. I asked them what's their Christmas tradition? They told me a few and they usually don't have one. 

Again I realized it's tough to get everyone on the same page to celebrate Christmas. Somehow I understood Heather in many ways. Heather wanted to keep the family tradition. For example she loved the real tree, tinsel on the tree, be surprised to see the presents under the tree on the Christmas day, and doing things together with family what we did for many years. I loved mom to make us eat our breakfast before chop down the stockings. It does bring many wonderful memories and lot of happiness. 

We grow up and we changed the tradition a bit. Mom traded in a fake Christmas tree. Dad bought a christmas tree fragment to fool Heather that the tree was real. (I thought it was funny..) But we still have special weird dinner on Christmas Eve. Heather was disappointed and hated to see the changes. She wanted to keep the same what she remembered. She was the youngest child in the family. Something I wanted to keep that tradition and never lose the Christmas spirit. I realized it's all about how we do with the Christmas spirit. For example our family, there are many things has changed but the Christmas spirit still the same. 

Now for me I feel the Christmas spirit has changed. I was happy to caught that now before I become one of people who don't believe in Christmas spirit. I do not want to be the person who just don't want to celebrate. Being single sometimes can tough to develop a tradition while a family can do. Hey, it's not an excuse--we need to be creative! Go to one of member's family, make cookies to give, set up a Christmas tree, etc. 


I did put up our Christmas tree up and magic to make the living room became a Christmas room. I loved it because I love to see many different nativities sitting around the room. (Annie LOVE nativities.) It's a GREAT way to develop the new tradition until I find a buddy to share with. 

So my goal for this year is to improve my Christmas spirit and develop new tradition to have a GREAT spirit in our home. Same the spirit I had for many years and planning to keep for many more in the future. Cherish my Christmas spirit. 

This talk made me look inside of me and saw what I was. I do not like that. I was glad that Heavenly Father lead RS president to give this talk. I knew it was for me. I'm sure it was for other people as well. I hope you enjoy the talk. 

I hope you have a GREAT Christmas holiday this year with your families. Enjoy it because it is special time of season while other lose theirs. Don't lose your Christmas spirit. It's no fun.


First counselor of RS presidency found his talk and it's free to download. Here you go.  

Boyd K. Packer's Talk

If you want to get a copy, let me know. I tried to put the PDF but it won't let me. :( Boo!

Les Misérables

October 18th--I had another opportunity to see the play called Les Misérables in Washington D.C. with my two wonderful friends. This play have two wonderful interpreters and it was the main reason why I wanted to go. Actually I went to see Wicked last summer and it was so much fun to watch the interpreters while watching the play.

At first, about two weeks before the play, I saw there was a movie on television and it was Les Misérables. I thought I should watch it and I did. I have learned so much about the story. I was thrilled to watch the play because I understand the story much better than I was in high school.

And this time, I enjoyed so much because of music. Two of musics made me cry! I tried to remember what the songs, but I only able to remember one song called, "Bring Him Home". It was such a beautiful play.  I was glad that I went to see the play. Now I'm looking forward to see other plays in the future when the interpreters are available.

Silly Boy

Annie asked me to help her by filming her doing speech therapy with kids. She have to give a big presentation at Speech-Language meeting this spring. It was a big deal for her. She had to borrow some kids for her presentation and she found several kids that their parents were willing to let us borrow their kids.

We visited one family with five or six boys. One of boys walked to me and started to talk. I told him I cannot understand him. His mother told him that I am deaf and use sign language to communicate. If he wants to talk with me, he need to ask Annie to interpret for him. He does not like the idea. He wanted me to talk with him. Actually he WANTS me to hear him.

He kept on the topic about me and my hearing issues. It was almost time for his turn to work with Annie. He left the room and wrote something and gave it to me. His face was very serious. He again tried to talk  as hoping that I would hear him. You can see how serious he was by writing big words, HEAR ME?! It was so funny! It took him awhile to accept that I CANNOT understand him even I can hear him with my cochlear implants. If he wants to talk, he need to learn sign language to communicate or use Annie to interpret.

So often, I always wanted to look inside of kids' head what they were thinking of. :D

The Roof

We got lot of rain recently. About two months ago, Katie told us that there were some leak in her bedroom. I had to check what she saw. I saw there were lot of water leak on the wall from the vent and one other area.  The odd is that the vent was not bottom, but it was middle of the wall. You'll see the picture to see what I mean. The carpet was soaked. I grabbed the towels and put it on the carpet where it was soaked.

Annie had to call the condo company about the leak. The roof man came and fixed the roof so the problem would be solved. The next day, rain comes and go.

Men came and ripped off the wall to see what the problem was. They found some mold were about to develop. One of men sprayed special thing for mold. Poor Katie because the insulter was removed and left it open for many days, even cold nights. I had to go and buy a heater for her. The reason they left it open because it has to be dry before they put it back. They thought it was fixed.

Nope, it wasn't fixed!! 

Annie had to call them again and complained it wasn't fixed. The roof owner came and think it was umm roof slider. That was causing the problem. So we have to call different people to come to fix roof slider or side? I don't know what it called. They haven't come to fix it. It have been opened and still having leak.. GRRR. Poor Annie. 

I hope they will get it fixed BEFORE the snow comes and decided to sit on the ground! It's not going to be pretty in the morning--when people found us frozen people. ;) Because it wasn't solved yet....